Learning a Language is SO Humiliating

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I hate being embarrassed. I embarrass myself all the time, but I can make it funny… and move on… if I know the freaking language.

At the mall today, I got ice cream with my kids and my friend. I wanted to get Nolan a cone–just a cone–because he breaks out into hives when he has milk. I got it across that I wanted just a cone. I had R$1, but they wanted the full R$2 for just the cone. Okay, whatever. Take R$2 for your dumb cone. I pulled out a five, which was good because I could get R$3 of change. But they wanted me to give them the R$1 piece and R$5, so I could get 2 R$2 bills. I understood, but I didn’t want that. They thought I didn’t want the ice cream. I wanted the ice cream. Just take my R$5 and give me change. But I don’t know how to say, “Give me change for the R$5.” He wanted the R$1 and waited after I gave him the R$5. So I stared at him, like give me my money. At this point, they were very frustrated with me. So, screw it! I gave them the R$1 too. But I accidentally pulled out a .25 cent piece. And they were like ASDFKSJDFKSDFL. I rolled my eyes and reached in for the R$1. Could it take me any longer to get the R$1 out, so I could show them I wasn’t trying to rip them off or didn’t understand????? I wanted to say, “You people are a bunch of idiots. Just give me my change.” Instead, they looked awkwardly at each other when I finally took my ice cream.


So whatever. Not a big deal. A couple of people who work at the mall. Well, at Darian’s Jujitsu class, it was some kid’s birthday. He turned 7. I asked. I at least know how to ask that. Well, they gave all the kids presents. Darian didn’t understand that he needed to give it to the birthday boy as it was for the birthday boy… from the parents… who gave it to the kids… to give to their child. So Darian put it by his stuff. I didn’t know how to say, “Let me give it back when Darian walks away.” So they thought Darian took their kid’s present, and I didn’t care. I finally got it back to their kid’s pile. Then there was a cake box on a seat. I went to move it to put it on the counter, so all the kids could sit, and THEY THOUGHT I WAS STEALING THEIR CAKE BOX. THEIR CAKE BOX. The empty box the cake came in. THE BOX. The lady took it and put it on the counter where I was about to put it. Like, really? Do you really think I want your box? I would have bought your kid a present MYSELF had I known it was his birthday.

After we move, the people who think I am the cake box stealing lady will forget me, and it will be okay. I think things like this need to happen to motivate you to learn more… faster.

BTW, wherever you live, be a little kinder to the foreign family who can’t express that they aren’t stealing your cake BOX.


I totally feel like Nolan in this picture. Just frustrated and angry. And Darian is Portuguese. Just chilling above me and laughing. But this is how you learn…

Oh, well. Here’s our latest travel video. Totally watch it, and make me feel better. Thanks!

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